Regrets...

One year ago today
On a quiet afternoon
You sat beside me and asked
about my future and the choices
that I have made,
I could see the disappointment
in your eyes, my failures reflected
as you gently told me to choose my own path
and not that of others

One year ago today
My special day
But I did not tell you that
because I wanted it to be your day
You talked about possibilities
You expected better of me
and I wanted so much not to let you down

One year later
I regret I've never visited you
I'm sorry I've hardly called
I thought of you often
but I never thought you'd go
I always said 'I'll call tomorrow'
but always, always there's something else
and now I'm left with guilt and regrets
and a pain I will never forget

I never told you how much I love you
never told you how much I cared
never told you how I looked up to you
and wished that you'll always be there
but God had other plans, and you had to go
One year today on my special day
this is all that I can say

I'm sorry I never tried my best
I'm sorry I let you down
Now that I'm really trying
I wish you are still around
I wanted you to see me succeed
and comfort me when I fail
I want you to see me graduate
and walk me down the aisle
But too late, it's too late
please forgive me


Author's note: In the memory of my Uncle Thomas, who passed away on 20 April 2001. I wrote this on my birthday the same year. I still miss him.

I think he, being the kind and generous man he is, might forgive me, but I think that I will never forgive myself.